Filter your comments: Couples who avoid saying every critical thought when discussing touchy topics are consistently happier.
Soften your "start up": Arguments often start with harsh words that create anger and defensiveness in the spouse. It is helpful to start conversations with softer words and thoughts. Bring up problems gently and without blame.
Accept Your Partner’s influence: A marriage succeeds to the extent that the husband can accept influence from his wife. A husband's ability to be influenced by his wife (rather than vice-versa) is crucial because research shows women are already well practiced at accepting influence from men and a true partnership only occurs when a husband can do so as well.
Have high standards: Happy couples have high standards for each other even as newlyweds. The most successful couples are those who, even as newlyweds, refuse to accept hurtful behavior from one another. The lower the level of tolerance for bad behavior in the beginning of a relationship, the happier the couple is down the road.
Learn to repair and exit the argument: Successful couples know how to exit an argument. Happy couples know how to repair the situation before an argument gets completely out of control.
Focus on the bright side: In a happy marriage, while discussing problems, couples make at least five times as many positive statements to and about each other, and their relationship, as negative ones. A good marriage must have a rich climate of positivity.
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